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What our sheets say during the holidays?

What our sheets say during the holidays...

It sounds like a cheesy girls' magazine article straight up from the @cosmopolitan right?

Well, the beds in our house have actually a lot to say about what's cooking in our lives this season and it's not just because of what you are all thinking.

After all, during the holidays the beds in our homes fill up with family members and friends or they are empty because we visit others.

But on a more intimate note, they have also a lot to say about the health of our own relationships with spouses and significant others. I'm not a couple's therapist but as a psychologist and neuroscientist, I know very well the effects of our more intimate relationships on our happiness.

The holidays serve some as a point of reconnection and intimacy generating a lot of activity in those sheets and raising endorphins and other chemicals in our brains. But they can also put a lot of stress on a couple. With family coming over and a hectic social schedule, alone time can also disappear, and fights rise leaving those sheets a little colder and sometimes with a single person in them.

I wanted to dedicate one post to this because we see so many couples who break up after the holidays and families who get stressed. This season should be one to reconnect and enjoy each other so try to do the following:

- Find moments to have small 'Christmas dates' with your significant other. Even if it's at home with a hot cocoa and movie or cooking together.

- Find a way to reconnect and show your love despite the hectic schedule and sometimes annoying visitors (may leave a note on his/her pocket every day with the things you feel grateful for)

- Don't let family get to you and influence how you feel about the other person or put stress on your relationship. If you have to, send them to a hotel. In the end, they leave after a few days and you are the one who stays picking up the pieces.

- Be understanding not just of the other person's feelings but also their reactions.

Your coach, motivator, and favorite neuroscientist,

Dra. Myrelis Aponte


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